Lamer and the Beast
by SilkyUltraViolet
Summary: Oblivion Private All-Boys Boarding School has chosen Beauty and the Beast as their school play. But who would really choose a romantic play at an all boys school. Mr. Xehanort, that's who. What an asshole. Seiner. Yaoi, Rated T


**Author's Notes:** This is one of my favorite Disney movies ever. I had been planing this fic for a little under a year. I just actually just started writing last night. But that was only because Beauty and the Beast was on last night. I had my itouch with me and I thought why not write some on the note pad while the commercials are happening. And vahla! I had about have of the first chapter done by the end of the movie. I spend some time today on it and finished it!

I'm basing this off of the tracks of the Broadway production, which is 23 tracks, but might be longer or shorter than that. It all depends on how it pans out. IF PEOPLE REALLY LIKE THIS I MIGHT JUST DO A LEGIT REMAKE OF BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. So, that would mean double the Seiner in the same idea but different ways. Sounds hot?

**Disclaimers:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts nor do I own Beauty and the Beast. Both belong to their respective owners. Kingdom Hearts to Square Enix/Disney Interactive Studios/Tetsuya Nomura. Beauty and the Beast to the originator, Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve but the version being used now is base off of Linda Woolverton, Alen Menken, Howard Ashman, and Tim Rice's Broadway/Disney movie rendition.

* * *

**~.Lamer and the Beast.~**

Hayner never thought in all his life he would be stuck doing something a ridiculous as this but under certain circumstances he was, meaning Roxas was forcing him to. At first it was just was just a joke.

"Oh, let's, like, try out for our school play. That would totally, like, be awesome," Roxas said in a sarcastic valley-girl voice.

It was a joke for everyone who tried out for the play. I mean really, who really wants to be in Beauty and the Beast at an all boys school? It was laughable to think that anyone cared about the production besides the drama teacher, Mr. Xehanort.

But one thing Hayner did realized when being forced to try out for this already doomed production of a school play, was that this was in fact a MUSICAL. Meaning he had to sing in front of the whole school, that was if he even landed a major role (which he was hoping he wouldn't even make it for the call-backs). That was all shattered when Roxas had told him several days later that Xehanort had posted the casting list.

He was nervous to even look at the list posted near the room for fear of actually being on it. Hayner definitely didn't want his name to be on the printed paper because he wasn't allowed to back out of the play if he was cast as one of the leading roles. The only way he would even be able to get out was if he was failing any of his classes. And Hayner was not ruining his his perfect 3.5 GPA just to leave a lame play.

So this is how he found himself standing next to Roxas' last class of the day seeing as he had a free period as his class. He was already regretting that he even listened to Roxas and did something so stupid, but was glad that he had also managed to rope Pence into their little moment of idiocy.

The final bell rang for the day and Hayner waited as his doom approached closer when he saw Roxas walk out of the classroom a few moments later. Walking down the hall they met up with Pence near the Arts hall. Hayner was surprised when they arrived near the drama room that there was a small crowd of people in front of the door. One of which was Roxas was not too happy to see. Axel was one of tallest in the small group hovering around the area and was unmistakable because of his ridiculous red hair standing out from the back of his head. Next to him was a good friend of his, Demyx who was only a few inches shorter than him. Both seemed to be smiling with a few laughs and chuckles coming from them. There was only two things that that could mean; either they had gotten into the play or were laughing at the roles people were assigned. Hopefully it wasn't both, but fate was definitely against them when the came closer to list.

Hayner approached the crowd and let his eyes wonder to the piece of paper stuck to a cork-board by a small metal pin. His mind completely floored by what he saw.

_CAST FOR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST:  
Belle - Hayner Dincht  
Beast - Seifer Almasy  
Gaston - Setzer Resol  
Lefou - Vivi Draziw  
Maurice - Squall Leonhart  
Cogsworth - Pence McBride  
Lumiere - Axel Oner  
Mrs. Potts - Zexion Noisulli  
Chip - Demyx Retaw  
Babette - Roxas Hikari  
Madame de la Grande Brouche - Raijin Selcsum  
Enchantress - Cloud Strife_

"Babette? Who the fuck is Babette?"

"The duster? I think," Pence replied to Roxas' question.

"Which is the maid, Roxy," said Axel as he snakes his long arms around Roxas' waist and giving a little squeeze. "I'd love to see you in a maid costume," he continued huskily as he rested his chin on the blonde's shoulder and blowing into ear.

Roxas spun out of his loose grip and turned to the redhead with any 'angry' flush on his face.

"Fuck off, Axel. Don't touch me again or I'll beat the shit out of you."

Their little bantering continued.

All the meanwhile, Hayner was freaking out in his mind and just now visibly started showing signs of cracking. His book bag left his hand as realization sunk into his brain.

"Oh my GOD! Holy shit, holy shit. Why? Why me?" he said as he sunk to the floor on his knees. "WHY? WHY GOD? WHY MEEEE?"

"Cut the dramatics Mr. Dincht and save them for later at practice," came a cool voice, that was recognized as Mr. Xehanort, from the drama room door.

"Mr. Xehanort, why do I have play the leading LADY of all people? Couldn't you have just picked someone else, like Demyx? I don't think I'm the most qualified to be playing such a role," Hayner tried his best to convince the teacher.

"Actually, you are the most qualified out if all of those that tried out. You have the perfect tenor range and excellent acting skills. The roles I chose for everyone seems to fit perfectly with them! It's a shame you were never in drama before to hon your natural abilities because you could definitely take a star quality career as an actor, but I think you'll catch on quick and perform wonderfully!" Xehanort finished his little monologue and stared at the shocked and embarrassed teen in front of him.

Roxas and Pence were chuckling behind Hayner about being a tenor. He was just about to say something real smart-ass to them when a realization hit him in the head like a struggle bat.

"Why is Seifer in the play?" he spoke to the instructor as calmly as he could even though fear ripped him from the inside.

"All second year drama students and up are required to try out for the play whether they like it or not," Mr. Xehanort replied shortly and walk away without furthering the conversation.

"Wait, Seifer is in the play?" Roxas said as he walked over to the list again. His eyes suddenly bugging out in seeing which role he was playing. "Beast? The fucking Beast? Man you are so screwed. You're both the leading roles!"

"Hayner you do realize this is a romance play, right?" Pence added. "Oh God, that kiss is going to be sooooo awkward."

"Kiss? KISS?" Hayner was just about shouting his lungs off. "I'm going to have KISS that dick-face? Why does my life suck so hard right now?"

There was not way he could get himself out of this

This was a downside of going to a rich-kid boarding school. Oblivion Castle Private School had the most ridiculous rules that Hayner had ever seen. It kinda sucked being the son of a major company's CEO. Well, sometimes, and right now was one of those times. Though money can buy your way out of anything, Hayner wasn't one of those snot-nosed little shits that begged their father for the world. Much like what Axel had did when he had 'accidentally' set fire to one of chemistry rooms in the Science Wing early that year. It had taken some convincing and some generous 'donation' to keep Axel from being expelled. Hayner was one of those people that didn't want to rely on other people, especially family, just for financial aid.

Hayner was just going have to suck it up to keep his morals. Even if it means he had to give up some of his pride.

* * *

Seifer was a little pissed off at moment. Ever since Rai had forced him to look at the casting list and explain who Madame de le Grande Brouche was, he had been wanting to punch something (or somebody) really bad. He understood that Rai might not know who the character was but it was another not knowing what a fucking wardrobe was. And that was just the small thing he was pissed of about.

The blond knew he had to par-take in those damned try-out but hoped (and expected) nothing to come out of it. He was sadly mistaken when there had been no announcement of call backs, which signified that was a small amount of people that actually tried out for the play and roles had been set. He couldn't back out anything now.

So after explaining why the hell a wardrobe was to Rai, he finally had time to look over the list to see his role. He just about fell over laughing seeing that the chickenwuss was going to play Belle, the leading LADY. He felt sad for the poor sap that was going to play the Beast, which was hopefully Setzer like the loser had wanted. His chuckles were soon thwarted by his eyes flickering to the name beside the listing of the Beast.

He hurled his book bag across the drama hall anger and disbelief. What the FUCK? Him? As the Beast? What fucking crack was Xehanort on? It best be damn good shit for what he just came up with! Someone was going to get hurt and hopefully it's Xehanort or the lamer. And why the hell is he even in the damn play? He's not in drama or even seems interested in a stupid play production.

Seifer walked, more like stomped, down the hall to his bag and headed for the common room to find the chickenwuss and beat some sense into him. Hayner didn't need to be in this production and the older blond was determined to make sure he wouldn't be, if it was the last thing he did.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** For those that are reading my other Seiner story, Fallin' For You, I want you to know it's on HIATUS because I dislike how it started and want to rewrite some of it, but not only that I just have no idea where that story is really going. So until then it's on hiatus and somewhat discontinued... Everyone should at the characters last names. Some aren't anything backwards but others are. I personally like Zexion's, it sounds really French.

R&R Pretty Please! Chocolate Roses for those that do! ;) (Anyone get why I said chocolate roses instead of cookies? :3) Point out any mistake or some constructive criticism!


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